June 2010

Does anyone have a neuraliser? I need to wipe about three minutes.

File an issue with IT. Someone will be around with a mallet.

I've turned off the ads in JIRA and now there's no way to turn them back on. :(

JIRA has ads?

It will.

GROW YOUR BUG COUNT!

JIRONY. PLAY DISCREETLY NOW!

I'm testing some FishEye stuff and raising bugs in SPAC. The project key is FISH, so this is probably the right place to raise bugs against Carl too.

I don't follow that project so I wouldn't respond to any bugs. The best place to file bugs against me is with Donna.

Is she able to fix them?

On occasion.

82% of all survey results are made up on the spot.

75% of people know that.

50% of them don't.

I think you're only 20% correct there, Furgin.

I agree with 3.4% of what you're saying

You people are crazy.

Only 9% crazy.

I really wanted to have a gay time, but I suppose a paddle pop will do

You can’t have a gay time alone

It says so on the packet

you can

it’s just ‘hard’

I propose a ‘kill switch’ for americans

it’s a 50 megatonne EMP placed in the middle of America

I’d say move it closer to the south.

wouldn’t that only work if americans were robots?

The midwest is weird but harmless, and all the normal people are on either coast.

There’s really nothing redeeming about the American South whatsoever.

I keep trying to come up with examples to contradict you, but I can’t

:/

SMH article summary of the day: “Chatroulette, the infamous voyeuristic video chat site, is investigating ways of blocking out male genitals as the website battles a sharp decline in visitor numbers.”

They don't get female genitals on there? Or they're not a problem?

They're probably more of a solution than a problem.

Or maybe genital-recognition software is more advanced for men.

The tech industry is often accused of being phallocentric.

In order to detect them, just convert the video stream to ascii and check for any occurrences of 8===D

But what if you _are_ a smiling giraffe?

If so, what are you smiling about? Are your genitals covered?

Levi's Law. On the Internet, any conversation will eventually return to the subject of pants.

They just need a sign on the login screen - ARE YOU WEARING PANTS?

ARE YOU PLANNING ON CONTINUING TO WEAR PANTS?

REALLY?

THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ON THIS SITE?

I mean, hi.

The keys are like right next to each other.

greetings all!

yeah, weird about the key locations, hey!

“New in Universe 1.1: massive sinks that consume all matter.”

I can imagine Steve Jobs introducing that at the developer conference.

“Now this is something you're going to love. Remember last year when I introduced gravity? Well that got our brilliant engineers thinking what else you could do with it…”

“Well today I am proud to introduce… iSingularity.”

That could equally be a Google presentation.

“We at Google have decided to release Gravity to the wider world. We've made it Open Source, cause we're nice like that”

Good thing the Universe wasn't made by Blizzard, it would shut down every Tuesday.

The universe has bugs. You think black holes are a feature?

*I* think black holes are a feature.

“New in Universe 1.1: massive sinks that consume all matter.”

They're fricking awesome!

The whole nature of light has the feeling of a piece of code that started off with one idea and then a bunch of people hacked it.

private const String SPEED_OF_LIGHT = "2.9 x 10^8 ms/s" // HACK: DO NOT CHANGE THIS VALUE; EVERYTHING BREAKS.

ffs do they pressurise these yoghurts? i just opened it and it exploded all over my lap

i don’t think you should eat it

i already ate it

even the bits on my lap

apart from the fact that it’s all over your pants, exploding yoghurt usually means it’s gone off

oh there is some on my keyboard.. win!

vdfgbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

what ?

It’d be cool if you could cast [Polymorph] on yourself.

“Hey, I came up here to talk to Charles…” “Where is he, and why is there a sheep at his desk?”

Not to be attempted in New Zealand, for obvious reasons.

“Hey, I came up here to talk to Charles…” “Where is he, and why… hello there…”

How do I check what gender I am?

look in your pants?

I’m not wearing any.

Technically, it should be self evident then

Say yes, then when it all falls over into a tin of custard he’ll come back to Studio

I hate it when things call into a tin of custard

“Hello? Hello?”

anything is possible in IRC!

hahaha, lolzcat that’s like saying you made a square circle

anything is possible

WHO IS THE NOOB

WHO SETS OFF THE ALARM

EVERY MORNING

Seriously! They need a punch right in the sarcophagus.

A kick in the King Tuts.

dance dance ice crown citadel

I want to play WoW with a dance mat

i'd have to start off on beginner mode... smite, smite-smite-smite,

Most interesting line so far, from the most stressful bit of the Festergut fight after lolz died:

22:55:02 Rikitikitavi casts Levitate on Atlassia

300ms later it was dispelled by a tick of pungent blight.

fly away atlassia! save yourself!

The ice box in the fridge behind mb is literally a box full of ice

There’s no room to put anything in it

Lolzcat: not quite

there is an entire tray of mint slices frozen for all eternity as well

i thought they were emblems of frost

Gah! We're using Maven the Maven Way and still hitting problems.

Maven Way. Isn't that near the corner of Masochism Ave. and the You're Fucked Highway?

actually, one of the newer MMOs, I think it’s the 40K one, is going to have full voiced npcs

WobWork: no thats going to be swtor

that’s probably it

the new star wars mmo will be fully voiced

oh furgs just said that

I’ve heard there’s some MMO coming out soon that will be fully voiced, too.

no way!

trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzL2qUxuhns

Is the trailer fully voiced?

I’ve heard there’s this massively multiplayer game where everyone is voiced.

like the mmo ?

Wow! There’s a new Star Wars MMO coming out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzL2qUxuhns

Apparently it’s fully voiced.

Well, the trailer is, anyway

And there’s the mid-afternoon “Blaaarrrggghhhhh” again, right on schedule.

having trouble reading the screen

turns out

eyes were closed

From the “why does this have a wikipedia entry?” department: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taste_like_chicken

I’d like to edit the list and add “Chicken”

And put a [Citation Needed] link next to it.

I was in a party of 5 with 4 girls (me being the only non girl if that wasnt obvious)

we only just did CoT timed because they kept stopping to look in the shop windows

i never realised that there were vendors in CoS

Lolzcat: girls can find shoe shops anywhere

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1282575/Couple-discover-siblings-Child-courts-blamed-strangers-fall-love-son–half-brother-sister.html

that url tries to fit in so much

So it’s a story about… erm… a half-man-half-woman tennis player… that has siblings… who saw some strangers fall over?

“I get my news by reading search-optimised URLs”

I need a beer and a nap and a teleport home.

I'm pretty annoyed, my iPad does support teleporting home

but you need a 3G network?

we have wifi here, that should work.

Ask Donna to open a portal. You might have to tip her five gold though.

Just hearth. Jeez.

I accidentally left my hearthstone in the bank.

Ask Alyce for a new one

But then I'll be hearthing to the office. Who wants that?