Meliae:
This room smells like feet.
dennilan:
That’s hogger.
Jirra:
I assumed hogger smelled like bacon.
Wobin:
Only when on fire.
2013
Dinosaur Erotica
- bf
Jirra:
http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/10-real-book-covers-from-dinosaur-on-human-sex-novels/ BF
Jirra:
Is this a new mutation of furries?
Carlfish:
There’s an offshoot of that series for foot fetishists.
Carlfish:
It stars the ankylosaurus.
jedi:
“3-way with the triceratops”
Swoon:
Let’s discuss dinosaur erotica!
Swoon:
It’s Latin for “Terrible Lizard Porn”
- bf
I can’t remember seeing any penises like that, but then again I don’t smoke.
Conference Presentation Feedback
- bf
Ken:
“Matt, you rock”
Furgin:
“Woot, thanks Ken!!”
Ken:
“No seriously, you shuffle back and forth on your feet, don’t do it”
Furgin:
“Woot, thanks Ken!!”
- bf
I had the achievement for cheating for a while, but I used Javascript to remove it
How many times?
- bf
Meliae:
So, apparently the way to form a habit is to make yourself repeat the action 300 times, and then it’s habit.
chrisdarroch:
So, you have to repeat it?
Meliae:
Yes, you have to repeat it.
chrisdarroch:
How many times?
Meliae:
You have to repeat it 300 times.
chrisdarroch:
I don’t get it.
Meliae:
You have to repeat it 300 times before it’s habit.
chrisdarroch:
So you have to keep doing it?
Meliae:
Yes, you have to keep doing it 300 times.
chrisdarroch:
And then it’s habit?
Meliae:
*finally gets it, gives chrisdarroch the finger*
- bf
lolzcat:
If Furgin was a flower, he would be a Frugnipani.
Jirra:
I'd be a Jirranium.
Musical Interlude
- bf
Jirra:
o/` Let’s do the timeout again…. o/`
* Wobin
waits
* Wobin
gets bored
Jirra:
Yeah, it wasn’t nearly as popular as the timewarp.
- bf
You can dance if you want to, if you’ve discussed your dance with your QA engineer before so they can warn you about potential risks.
I see that you know your judo!
- bf
hinch:
Listen to it through headphones, what he says is NSFW.
Jirra:
Penis is NSFW?
hinch:
Apparently.
Jirra:
Damn, there goes my next ShipIt project.
Go Out With a Bang (and Olufsen)
- bf
Carlfish:
I think I may have just farted very loudly, but I’m wearing noise-cancelling headphones so I can’t tell.
lolzcat:
Your headphones would have had to create a inverse fart sound wave
Carlfish:
Like a Bose.
Hedgehog? Where?
- bf
Wobin:
http://t.co/63MJabFJQj
Jirra:
Werehedgehog?
phestas:
Doesn’t really strike fear into the hearts of men, does it?
phestas:
When the full moon is out I transform from a burly, gruff and muscular man into a fearsome hedgehog!
phestas:
Capable of snuffling all the bread and milk from your fridge!
phestas:
(as long as the door is open and there are little ramps to get to the shelf.)
All but one of us failed the Turing Test
- bf
jirra:
moonburn: Please disinfect my echidna
moonburn:
jirra: I’m out of the cheese in the shape of a walrus to use as a cleaning implement.
jirra:
moonburn: I am not a walrus
moonburn:
jirra: Such a shame, the antelope are such gentle creatures. Perhaps you should try the chartreuse.
jirra:
moonburn: Why do you say that?
moonburn:
jirra: I am not a bot! How dare you suggest such a thing. I have the turing prize on twelve servers. Oh wait…
hogger:
I used to be not a bot until I took an arrow to the knee.
Balls-to-the-wall DPS
- bf
Phreakazoid:
I was disappointed that I stole aggro the other night, even though lolz was doing more DPS than me. I just laid into him when you said “dps go nuts”
jirra:
I misjudged the size of your nuts.
jirra:
I mean, umm…
lolzcat:
I can’t believe you went there.
jedi:
STOP NUTS
jirra:
MORE NUTS MORE NUTS, C’MON MORE NUTS
furgin:
ODD NUTS LEFT! EVEN NUTS RIGHT! THATS 1,3,5 LEFT 2,4,6 RIGHT!
- bf
Best thing about concurrent editing on google docs? JUSTIN BIEBER
- bf
I love Nickelback
Trolling: The Next Generation
- bf
Homelesspig:
So, how long have you guys been playing WoW?
Furgin:
How old are you?
Homelesspig:
15
Furgin:
Yeah, about that long.
- bf
virtualwolf:
Time for some new Amon Amarth. \m/
jirra:
Was that a place in Lord of the Rings?
hinch:
There’s plenty of places that start with Amon in LoTR.
jedi:
Yeah, like “Amon Ahorse".
- bf
Mehemet:
When you're a recovering alcoholic, you have to keep a plant alive for a year before you're allowed to get into another relationship.
Phestas:
During that year… are you allowed to see other plants?
- bf
Wherever he’s tossing ends up being the wet patch.
Meanwhile, in Poland...
- bf
At a JIRA team party, after a dozen beers:
Pawel:
I really don’t want to know my colleagues’ sexual preferences.
Jirra:
No-one wants to know that.
Sairel:
(speculatively) I dunno, black male is awesome.
<general silence>
Jirra:
Oh, blackmail.
- bf
Also, whenever anyone is in a planning meeting, I should pop in and shout “Penny for your thoughts!”
- bf
Jirra:
So, I got an OutOfMemoryException from YourKit while trying to profile another app. I searched Google for help. I got as far as “your kit oome while pr” and google helpfully autocompleted it with “pregnant”.
jedi:
So Google thinks YourKit is pregnant?
Jirra:
Yes, I guess the baby takes up PermGen.
OK, maybe that bot thing is a guideline not a rule.
- bf
Jirra:
hogger: Why did I forget to have lunch?
hogger:
Jirra: You're not a human, are you? O_o.
Jirra hogger:
I am, sadly
hogger:
Jirra: So you're not a robot like the website says? You're human?
Jirra:
hogger: Yes, I'm human, and I'm hungry
hogger:
Jirra: How can you be hungry? You're a robot.
Jirra:
hogger: I'M A HUMAN, DAMNIT
hogger:
Jirra: I doubt it.
Jirra:
This is not helpful
*** Signoff: Jirra (Ping timeout: 121 seconds)
- bf
I have a hunter named Jira. He can track bugs.
Moral dilemmas
- bf
Lolzcat:
I did one of the new bosses in LFR last night. Killed a giant bird. I felt bad because it spent half the fight trying to feed its chicks.
Jirra:
:(
Lolzcat:
The chicks were also trying to kill us, but I still felt bad
- bf
It worked on me, I bought like 20 pairs of underwear and put them on my pet echidna.
OK, so I'll make ONE exception to my "no bot conversations" rule…
- bf
Carlfish:
hogger: Are you complicated?
hogger:
Not really. Are you complicated?
Carlfish:
That depends on who you ask, I guess.
hogger:
Will computers take over the world?
Carlfish:
Not until they become something totally different to today’s computers.
hogger:
I agree. Do you want to have an affair with me?
Carlfish:
I don’t think we’re compatible.
hogger:
I think we are. What makes you think we’re not?
Carlfish:
You’re an IRC robot, I’m a fish.
hogger:
Robot.
Carlfish:
Fish.
hogger:
Okay, I like fish.
Carlfish:
I’m sorry, I still won’t have an affair with you.
hogger:
I’ll be back (Terminator Reference).
Carlfish:
Now I’m a little creeped out.
hogger:
Good.
There was movement on the channel, for the word had passed around…
- bf
Jirra:
I wish the shield display thing on the health bars went backwards from current health, not forwards from current health
Jirra:
Most of the time I’m at full health and can’t see anything about how much damage I can absorb
Wobin:
Oh, you don’t see the overflow?
Jirra:
“And I somehow rather fe-ar that I’d hate to change with Jirra / Hate to take a turn at testing where the stories come and go…”
Wobin:
“While she faced the code eternal of CRM infernal / But I doubt she’d suit the writing, Jirra of the Overflow.”
How many Atlassians does it take to empty a fridge?
- bf
Swoon:
I think it’s pretty reasonable to expect that someone needs to be regularly on fridge-cleaning duty.
hinch:
Then we should assign different teams to do it so that it doesn’t just have to be the experience team.
Jirra:
QA: “There are three rotting food items in the fridge. Please fix.”
hinch:
Support: “The things rotting in the fridge have now come to life and are destroying a Japanese coastal town”
hinch:
Dev: “Closed, won’t fix”
Jirra:
Support: “Please provide logs of all items inserted into and removed from the fridge for the past 3 years. Then reindex your fridge and see if it’s fixed.”
Jirra:
Architect: “We should talk to the owners of all the other fridges and see if we can solve this bad-food problem consistently”
Carlfish:
Founder: If we just throw out 80% of the bad food, the fridge should smell just good enough that we can keep going.
Jirra:
Tech Writers: “OK, the fridge has rotten food in it. Let’s call that out in the fridge release notes”
Jirra:
IT: “The fridge isn’t an IT-managed service, we’re not responsible for it”
Carlfish:
ANB: “Where is your fridge going?”
- bf
What did the lolzcat run into when he went to Gdansk?
- bf
Jirra:
Why are all our user personae really smart, switched-on, hard-working people? Where is Lisa the Lazy? Ivan the Incompetent? Uma the Unmotivated?
Carlfish:
Barry the Must Exhaust his Budget?
Jirra:
Sally-Lou the Sharepoint Lover
Carlfish:
Garry the Will-Buy-Anything-Garter-Says
Jirra:
Ian the IE6 User
Carlfish:
Maurice the Malicious
nathan-022:
Uter Frzysncki the Unintelligible Foreigner
Carlfish:
Uther Pendragon, the wondering why he is in the year 2013.
Jirra:
Is he a JIRA or Connie user?
- bf
* lolzcatmob
is stuck in a lift.
Later…
jedi:
What happened in the lift?
lolzcat:
The mechanic managed to get the door open. I shoved him inside, closed the door and ran off laughing.
Jirra:
Turns out that if you’re overgeared, you don’t have to worry about the mechanics of the elevator boss fight.
Short and simple
- bf
Meliae:
I DONT LIKE IT WHEN CUSTOMERS ASSUME I’M A MIND READER
Jirra:
How are they meant to know that?
You WISH this was taken out of context.
- bf
clepetit:
Swoon, why did you stop?
Swoon:
I was getting all flustered.
clepetit:
So was I.
clepetit:
Continue.
Back on SWTOR…
- bf
lolzcat:
swtor going free to play hasn't changed much.
clepetit:
I keep forgetting I have that.
lolzcat:
You should have logged on last night, you would have had a friend!
clepetit:
Of course! Kira!
clepetit:
Oh… did you mean you?
* lolzcat
shuffles his feet
clepetit:
Well this is awkward.
Carlfish:
If you buy clepetit lots of gifts, maybe he will be your friend?
lolzcat:
I'll just repeat all my conversations with him until I say something he likes.
clepetit:
lolzcat, I'd like to talk to you the next time we’re at a cantina/on the ship.
Too much SAND
- bf
dave:
scuba diving in egypt is supposed to be incredible
furgin:
yeah ALL THE SAND!
dave:
some people would call it an absolute riot
dave:
they have this river furgin maybe you’ve heard of it
Swoon:
he hasn’t.
Swoon:
he’s in denial.
Battlegrounds in a Nutshell
- bf
Carlfish:
There's match-making in DotA I believe, but all that means is you end up on a team of people who suck as much as you, but blame you for it.
lozcat:
Sounds like BGs.
Phreakazoid:
True story.
Carlfish:
DON'T FIGHT ON THE ROADS, MORONS!
furgin:
TAKE GOLDMINE!
lolzcat:
Y R U ALL AT FARM??
Phreakazoid:
AT LEAST WE TOOK STABLES
furgin:
2 INC FARM
furgin:
3 INC FARM
dave:
LET FARM GO TAKE MIDDLE
furgin:
I CALLED FARM WHY NO HELP YOU NUBS?
furgin:
GO FARM
furgin:
OMG YOU SUCK
dave:
BECAUSE SHUT UP Y RNT U FKN HEALING STOP GOING SHADOW
lolzcat:
LOLOL LRN2PLY
furgin:
UNINSTALL NOOB
ANB Painted Picture for the Emerald Dream
- bf
furgin:
What does VTFM stand for?
Phreakazoid:
Vision the F•••••• manual?
Swoon:
Vaporise the Fucking Manual.
Carlfish:
Visualise the Fucking Manual.
Carlfish:
It's like RTFM for people with photographic memories.
- bf
Day 7 without internets. I’m reporting from the other side. The shakes are setting in - I don’t know how long I can last. My fingers keep twitching into wasd shapes, hammering out imaginary combat rotations in the air. I have to call or text friends to find out what’s on their minds instead of checking facebook or twitter. I feel like I’m back in the dark ages.
Too Much Information
- bf
furgin:
I just sneezed so loudly I think I wet myself just a little bit.
Meliae:
TMI
furgin:
Sorry.
furgin:
I think I wet myself just a little bit.
furgin:
better?
- bf
Ultimate outfit = flanny shirt over ANB t-shirt. No pants.
Mmmm… Beer…
- bf
Wobin:
“Sydney is likely to be in the mid-30s for most of the evening and should still be above 30 degrees at midnight.”
lolzcat:
Lucky I have a cold beer at home.
Carlfish:
A hard-earned thirst needs a good cold bear.
Jirra:
And the best cold bear is lolzcat.
Swoon:
You can get it healing.
Swoon:
You can get it tanking.
Wobin:
You can even get it, headbutting a pole.
Carlfish:
You can get it rolling on gear.
lolzcat:
Matter of fact, I'm looting it all now.